Couch Potato Secrets

Apparently there are rumors online that a key figure in the
couch potato community was seen jogging in the park last
Sunday.Now, this is clearly very disturbing if it is true. We´ve
had our fair share of scandals in our community over the
last few years but this is one of the most serious
allegations we have heard in some time.

For the record, I am and always have been a dedicated couch
potato. I make a point of exercising less than twice a
month and I eat far more than my fair share of junk food.

I admit that I sometimes slack off when it comes to putting
in the hours in front of the TV but I do make up for that
weakness by spending hours on the couch munching potato
chips while staring into space.

The couch potato lifestyle is not for everyone yet it does
have its rewards. Apathy and laziness brings its own
reward. If you are still struggling with the urge to get
things done, to achieve at work or to tidy up your home you
need to little by little drop those addictions to progress.

Happiness and fulfillment will never be found in activity -
accept that and find your limitless being in the perfect
moment… on the couch.

Find your courage and be proud of this special calling. Not
everyone is brave enough to be so different. Reject the
social norms that put pressure on so many to achieve, to
constantly active and to never pause to just be.

On the couch you will find yourself - there is no need
whatsoever to fly to India to discover your true essence.
It is right where you are. Sit long enough and you´ll start
to notice the couch potato wisdom that was always present
all along.

It has come to my attention that some couch potatoes are not getting with the program. Listen, I´m deadly serious about this. Under no circumstances should you be setting goals or aspiring to enhance your quality of life.

Obviously this gets confusing when you spend all day watching commercials but you need to resist the urge to acquire more stuff. Ignore those SUV ads. and turn away when those annoying lose weight infomercials pop up on your screen. If you need to, simply turn the volume off and grab a beer from the kitchen until you find something better to watch.

If this urge to improve your life gets any worse I may need to sell subliminal mps files that you can listen to while channel surfing. Here are the titles that are in pre-production:

1. Fast Apathy Cultivator
2. Indecision Turbocharger
3. Exploring Inner Doubt
4. Easy Failure Manifestation
5. Self-esteem Destroyer

Now, don´t expect these files anytime soon. I don´t do deadlines. In fact I don´t do much of anything at all and neither should you.